Sunday, June 24, 2012

Five Shows Dangerous to Your Health or Sanity...

Everyone has their shows they love to watch.  I'm no different.  It's amazing what you can find on TV anymore.  Meanwhile.... during all this channel surfing... I've determined that some of these shows may be hazardous to my health and/or my sanity. 

WarningThe following shows should be watched in moderation.  Prolonged exposure may cause high risks to your safety, health and mental well being.  Please alert others when attempting a marathon of any of the following shows.  If you think a loved one might have a problem, find your nearest twelve step meeting immediately. 

Here is my short... partial list... 

1. Ghost Hunters:  I have a policy of never watching this show after dark.  10 am on a Saturday morning?  No problem!  At home.. alone... in the dark?!  I'll freak myself out in ten minutes.  What was that sound?  Did the temperature change?  What are the dogs looking at?  Is there someone outside?  What is that bubble in my picture?  Did it move??

2.  Hoarders:  I love to watch this crazy show, but after an episode or two, I'm frantically cleaning my house.  It makes me want to get on my knees and scrub my kitchen floor with a toothbrush.  Now this can be great if you want to get your house cleaned but are currently lacking the motivation.  However, if you just want a peaceful afternoon just stay away!  If this show doesn't make you want to clean...  I'm concerned. 

3.  I Didn't Even Know I'm Pregnant:  What?  There are that many women who are pregnant and don't even know about it?  We can make an ongoing show on this topic???  Of course, they have all the after math of why they didn't notice and remarkably almost all of them were on or using birth control.  (Don't ask how many episodes of this I might have watched one lazy Sunday.)  This show has the ability to make women paranoid.  What toilet seat did I sit on?  Why am I so tired? Heartburn!?!  Why is that happening?  Fifteen pounds... that's just holiday weight or is it???  Chasity belt here I come!

4.  Yard Crashers or any of the DIY Network Shows:  Why is it after watching a couple episodes of these shows, you feel like you can tackle any home or garden project??  Change my cabinet doors?  Let me just get out this saw and router and get started!  Put in a fire pit and a koi pond?  What could go wrong with this project?  Nail air gun!!  How fun!!!  I suddenly get overly ambitious with house projects after too many of these.  I'm positive that I'm about one episode away from sawing off a finger or stapling my project to my thigh through a major vein.  (This leads to a whole different type of show... Trauma Life in the Real ER!)  Plus this show makes me want to hang around Home Depot or Lowes just looking for the crew to come down the aisle and Ta! Da! Perfect backyard! 

5.  Infomercials!:  I can't tell you how many things I've almost ordered because of an infomercial!  Come on now... you know what I'm talking about!  It's late at night or early on a weekend.  There is nothing else on the TV.  Or perhaps you just finished watching the show before the infomercial.  Either way you get sucked in.  They show you how easy it is to use.  They talk about all the benefits.  How can you resist??  I'm telling you.. I had to have the Magic Bullet.  I do own a Shark Navigator Lift Away and honestly, I'm quite happy with both products; although, I didn't order either product via phone.  All the promises....

Additional Show:

6. Cheaters:  Why do we even date and mate?  This show is just depressing as a singleton.  Heck.. it's depressing if you're in a relationship too.  And then the excuses that spew out of these people's mouths.  Umm... HELLO!  We've been watching you for days.  It's on film.  The gig is up!  Just avoid this show for hope of future relationships and your current relationship. 

Monday, June 18, 2012

Soap Box: Waiting at the Doctor's Office

I'm always amazed by several things when visiting the doctor's office.  Let me start by saying I am not a hypochondriac.  I really try not to go to the doctor unless it's absolutely necessarily.  I'm not super fond of needles, paper gowns or all the money that tends to leave my wallet when visiting.  Plus I'm reminded of my weight and other obvious things.  Which brings me to my rant.... 

First off...Why is it that they can never squeeze me in when I'm actually sick?  Isn't that the purpose of having a doctor?  If I'm hacking up a lung, I don't want to come see you in three days!  I watch Trauma Life in the Real ER!  I could be dead by then!  Or all my ribs might be broken from forceful coughing!  Secondly, why is it that I have to be on time or I forfeit my appointment?  Yet I can check in and wait for thirty minutes or more in the waiting room and still have to pay my co-pay?  Is my time not important?  And it would be one thing if when I was called back to the room, the doctor came into see me in the next five minutes...but no!  I can then wait just as much time in the actual room. 

In light of my recent doctor experience, I would like to point out some small improvements that could be made.  Here are some of my helpful suggestions:

A.  Provide some delightful beverages in the waiting room.  No, I'm not talking about five day old coffee or instant tea.  Keep them behind the counter if you want.  (I work events for a living!  I know people hoard!)  I'll try to keep my consumption down.  However, if you make me wait hours upon hours, I am entitled to a second beverage.  I would add some treats, but I'm not sure how much I want to be eating when I'm sick and getting ready to be weighed. 

B.  Can we get some new magazines in this joint???  Really?  Why do I have to look at two year old magazines?  And not all of us are parents, seniors or diabetics!  Perhaps I need crunches but that doesn't mean I want to read about doing them all the time.  IF there actually were good magazines at the doctors at one point and you keep taking them, stop it!  The rest of us want to read some up-to-date stuff too! 

C. Can we keep the air conditioning level normal in the rooms?  If you want me to get into a thin paper gown and wait on your metal table, I don't want body parts to freeze and fall off while waiting on you!  On the other hand, I'd prefer not to sweat either.  No one likes to stick to the paper.  It makes scooting hard to do and slightly embarrassing.   

D.  Could you hire some pleasant folks to work the front desk?  Why is it always someone up there who looks like they just stepped in cold dog puke?!  I know a whole bunch of sick whiny people must wear on you; however, could we rotate some folks?  I  mean...I'm feeling bad.  That's why I'm at the doctor's.  Someone needs to be the happy upbeat person in this situation.  How about the person who is getting paid to be there???

E.  Could you charge me the right amount the first time?!  When visiting, I always pay my copay.  I even check out to make sure everything is settled.  Invariably I receive another bill for additional money.  (And no, it's not for x-rays or lab work.  That stuff comes in a different billing!)

F.  And last but not least.. why is it always some hidden maze to find the check out??  I swear I didn't come past all these doors and halls on the way in.  Can we get some big, clearly marked exit signs??   That cutesy construction paper sign you made and taped to the wall isn't cutting it. 

Is this asking for too much???  Okay.  Rant done.  Go about your business people.  Nothing to see here. 

P.S.  To my doctor friends, don't take it personally.  It was just one too many waits in the waiting room today.  And to my chiropractor, you are always prompt and your people are always smiling.  Thank you! 

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

There is one in every office!

Okay.  I try not to rant and rave online.  I realize airing your issues online isn't always or even usually the best practice.  So I won't.  But, I do want to talk about office personalities and politics for a moment.  No doubt at one point and time, we've all worked with these individuals.  Some of these we love.  Others we hate.  I have compiled a list below.  I'm sure I'll miss a few in my list.  Feel free to add to my list in the comment section! 

There is one in ever office..

- "I'm just so busy" gal (or it could be a guy):  This is the individual who talks loudly about just how busy they are.  They have stuff to do all day long.  Oh my gosh, I can't handle anymore.  There is just so much to do.  I don't know how I'm going to get it all done! Etc, etc, etc.  Hold up!  If you have time to tell anyone and everyone just how busy you are, you really aren't that busy!  And newsflash!  Working on your own private stuff (shopping, homework, emails) isn't part of your work load. 

- "How do you do this?"  This is the individual who has to ask a question about every last thing they do!  Where is the tape at?  How do we ring this up again?  Do you have any details on this?  Ummm.. hello!  You've been working in this office for years.  Do you really need to ask me about everything?  Why don't you know where things are located or what is going on?  Read the memo!

- "I totally agree."  This is the individual who agrees with everything you say.  They also agree with everything everyone else talks about too!  While I understand that we don't need to tell everyone all of our opinions... how about just being honest!  Now, I'm not saying that you need to be ugly with your honesty.  There are nice ways of saying things, but the main point I'm getting at is.. HONEST! 

- "I can't see or hear you." This is the individual who immerses themselves into whatever they're pretending to do so they don't have to help anyone else.  Oh.. have you been standing at the counter for five minutes??  Was the phone ringing?  I haven't checked my voicemail yet.  Sorry about that!  Get real!  The last time you were that involved in something was when you realized you were overdrawn on your checking account and were trying to figure out where that last twenty went. 

- "Oh really!"  This is individual is always surprised at information.  Oh really... she said that?  Was I suppose to attend that?  Oppss.. No one told me!  Look, I would buy it if I didn't hear you chatting about it twenty minutes ago in the hallway with someone else.  Remember, if you're going to act surprised, you better keep it up.  Sometimes.. just sometimes.. people talk.

- "We can do that!"  This individual volunteers your group for everything.  The funny thing is they don't actually do any of the work.  They just keep loading on the work; however, when it comes time to actually do it, they can't be found. 

- "I don't feel well."  Now this group covers several types.  You have your habitual.. I'm always sick on Payday Friday types.  You also have your there is an event that I really want to go to and have been talking about all week long but either can't take off or didn't ask.  Amazingly, suddenly they come down with a bad case of the "I don't feel wells" a few hours before.  And let's not forget the individuals that start the story either the night before or in the morning when they arrive.  Ohhh.. I just don't feel well.  I've been running a fever.  I've been throwing up all night long.  I think I might have...  MmmmmHmmmm.  We know what you have.  Note: If this is you, don't talk about everything you did on your time off the next day when you were supposedly oh so sick!  In addition, don't tag yourself in fifteen different locations if you're going to fake being sick all week. 

- "The Micro manager"  Enough said. 

- "The I'm here" guy or gal  This is the individual who makes sure everyone knows they are there.  They often walk around and chat with individuals to establish their presence.  Then they disappear for an amount of time. 

- "Oh yeah.. I did it!"  These individuals often claim to have done their work or tasks, but in reality you just reminded them about it.  They then rush to cover their tracks.  Guess what?  We can tell that you added that to the list yesterday!

- "Slogan Guy"  These individuals have some cliche saying for every last conversation.  Just do it! Please... save us!

- "I can rephrase that!" These individuals don't have any of their own thoughts.  They simply restate what everyone else has stated in the meeting.  Look.. there are only so many ways that you can say the sky is blue.  Maybe you should spend more time processing information.   

And let's not forget...

- "The compulsive liar!"  I'm not sure these individuals don't even realize when they're lying and when they're not.  They forget what stories they tell.  Apparently they think the rest of us are morons.  Hey!  We work with you at least eight hours a day.  After I've heard your stories ten times in fifteen different versions, a pattern begins to emerge.

Office additions:

- "Silent but Deadly" This is the individual that doesn't say much, but they are always lurking in the background.  They silently take in all that is going around them.  Be careful!  They'll use all that information when you least expect it!

- "The Pot Stirrer"  This is the individual that constantly likes some type of drama going on in the office.  They often instigate issues between two sides and you can definitely depend on them to be behind all the drama. 

- "The Drama Queen"  This is the individual that has some new drama every day!  It's like the sky is falling in their world.  It's always something.  Oh my gosh... this doesn't work.  Can you believe she said that?  Ohh.. I have all this stuff to do!  I can't believe I'm not allowed to use facebook for eight hours a day at work!  You just never know what the drama of the day will be.  The only sure thing is... there will be drama. 

- "Top That"  This person always has a 'one better' example.  You ran two miles.  I ran five miles last night and I didn't even sweat!  You lost five pounds.  I've lost twenty five pounds!  You finished your report at Noon.  My report was turned in by 8 am this morning!  Give up.  You'll never win against this person; although sometimes it is fun to see how big you can push their stories. 

- "I Know It All" This is the individual that knows how to do everything, where everything is located and who to call... even if they don't really.  These folks just make up stuff.  They'll jump right in with their answer that isn't even half correct.  You can tell by the way they say it... they believe and you should too!

- "The Victim"  This individual kind of sounds like a character from Winnie the Pooh.  Whoa is me... Everyone is against me... They're so mean to me.  I can't believe they said that to me.  Why would they act like that?  News Flash!!  Not everyone in the world is against you!  Folks don't sit around all day long trying to think what they can do to upset you.  In reality, usually these folks are so boring or plain Jane... the only way they rate any type of acknowledgement is by constantly claiming to be the victim.