Soap Box: Waiting at the Doctor's Office

I'm always amazed by several things when visiting the doctor's office.  Let me start by saying I am not a hypochondriac.  I really try not to go to the doctor unless it's absolutely necessarily.  I'm not super fond of needles, paper gowns or all the money that tends to leave my wallet when visiting.  Plus I'm reminded of my weight and other obvious things.  Which brings me to my rant.... 

First off...Why is it that they can never squeeze me in when I'm actually sick?  Isn't that the purpose of having a doctor?  If I'm hacking up a lung, I don't want to come see you in three days!  I watch Trauma Life in the Real ER!  I could be dead by then!  Or all my ribs might be broken from forceful coughing!  Secondly, why is it that I have to be on time or I forfeit my appointment?  Yet I can check in and wait for thirty minutes or more in the waiting room and still have to pay my co-pay?  Is my time not important?  And it would be one thing if when I was called back to the room, the doctor came into see me in the next five minutes...but no!  I can then wait just as much time in the actual room. 

In light of my recent doctor experience, I would like to point out some small improvements that could be made.  Here are some of my helpful suggestions:

A.  Provide some delightful beverages in the waiting room.  No, I'm not talking about five day old coffee or instant tea.  Keep them behind the counter if you want.  (I work events for a living!  I know people hoard!)  I'll try to keep my consumption down.  However, if you make me wait hours upon hours, I am entitled to a second beverage.  I would add some treats, but I'm not sure how much I want to be eating when I'm sick and getting ready to be weighed. 

B.  Can we get some new magazines in this joint???  Really?  Why do I have to look at two year old magazines?  And not all of us are parents, seniors or diabetics!  Perhaps I need crunches but that doesn't mean I want to read about doing them all the time.  IF there actually were good magazines at the doctors at one point and you keep taking them, stop it!  The rest of us want to read some up-to-date stuff too! 

C. Can we keep the air conditioning level normal in the rooms?  If you want me to get into a thin paper gown and wait on your metal table, I don't want body parts to freeze and fall off while waiting on you!  On the other hand, I'd prefer not to sweat either.  No one likes to stick to the paper.  It makes scooting hard to do and slightly embarrassing.   

D.  Could you hire some pleasant folks to work the front desk?  Why is it always someone up there who looks like they just stepped in cold dog puke?!  I know a whole bunch of sick whiny people must wear on you; however, could we rotate some folks?  I  mean...I'm feeling bad.  That's why I'm at the doctor's.  Someone needs to be the happy upbeat person in this situation.  How about the person who is getting paid to be there???

E.  Could you charge me the right amount the first time?!  When visiting, I always pay my copay.  I even check out to make sure everything is settled.  Invariably I receive another bill for additional money.  (And no, it's not for x-rays or lab work.  That stuff comes in a different billing!)

F.  And last but not least.. why is it always some hidden maze to find the check out??  I swear I didn't come past all these doors and halls on the way in.  Can we get some big, clearly marked exit signs??   That cutesy construction paper sign you made and taped to the wall isn't cutting it. 

Is this asking for too much???  Okay.  Rant done.  Go about your business people.  Nothing to see here. 

P.S.  To my doctor friends, don't take it personally.  It was just one too many waits in the waiting room today.  And to my chiropractor, you are always prompt and your people are always smiling.  Thank you!