Okay. I try not to rant and rave online. I realize airing your issues online isn't always or even usually the best practice. So I won't. But, I do want to talk about office personalities and politics for a moment. No doubt at one point and time, we've all worked with these individuals. Some of these we love. Others we hate. I have compiled a list below. I'm sure I'll miss a few in my list. Feel free to add to my list in the comment section!
There is one in ever office..
- "I'm just so busy" gal (or it could be a guy): This is the individual who talks loudly about just how busy they are. They have stuff to do all day long. Oh my gosh, I can't handle anymore. There is just so much to do. I don't know how I'm going to get it all done! Etc, etc, etc. Hold up! If you have time to tell anyone and everyone just how busy you are, you really aren't that busy! And newsflash! Working on your own private stuff (shopping, homework, emails) isn't part of your work load.
- "How do you do this?" This is the individual who has to ask a question about every last thing they do! Where is the tape at? How do we ring this up again? Do you have any details on this? Ummm.. hello! You've been working in this office for years. Do you really need to ask me about everything? Why don't you know where things are located or what is going on? Read the memo!
- "I totally agree." This is the individual who agrees with everything you say. They also agree with everything everyone else talks about too! While I understand that we don't need to tell everyone all of our opinions... how about just being honest! Now, I'm not saying that you need to be ugly with your honesty. There are nice ways of saying things, but the main point I'm getting at is.. HONEST!
- "I can't see or hear you." This is the individual who immerses themselves into whatever they're pretending to do so they don't have to help anyone else. Oh.. have you been standing at the counter for five minutes?? Was the phone ringing? I haven't checked my voicemail yet. Sorry about that! Get real! The last time you were that involved in something was when you realized you were overdrawn on your checking account and were trying to figure out where that last twenty went.
- "Oh really!" This is individual is always surprised at information. Oh really... she said that? Was I suppose to attend that? Oppss.. No one told me! Look, I would buy it if I didn't hear you chatting about it twenty minutes ago in the hallway with someone else. Remember, if you're going to act surprised, you better keep it up. Sometimes.. just sometimes.. people talk.
- "We can do that!" This individual volunteers your group for everything. The funny thing is they don't actually do any of the work. They just keep loading on the work; however, when it comes time to actually do it, they can't be found.
- "I don't feel well." Now this group covers several types. You have your habitual.. I'm always sick on Payday Friday types. You also have your there is an event that I really want to go to and have been talking about all week long but either can't take off or didn't ask. Amazingly, suddenly they come down with a bad case of the "I don't feel wells" a few hours before. And let's not forget the individuals that start the story either the night before or in the morning when they arrive. Ohhh.. I just don't feel well. I've been running a fever. I've been throwing up all night long. I think I might have... MmmmmHmmmm. We know what you have. Note: If this is you, don't talk about everything you did on your time off the next day when you were supposedly oh so sick! In addition, don't tag yourself in fifteen different locations if you're going to fake being sick all week.
- "The Micro manager" Enough said.
- "The I'm here" guy or gal This is the individual who makes sure everyone knows they are there. They often walk around and chat with individuals to establish their presence. Then they disappear for an amount of time.
- "Oh yeah.. I did it!" These individuals often claim to have done their work or tasks, but in reality you just reminded them about it. They then rush to cover their tracks. Guess what? We can tell that you added that to the list yesterday!
- "Slogan Guy" These individuals have some cliche saying for every last conversation. Just do it! Please... save us!
- "I can rephrase that!" These individuals don't have any of their own thoughts. They simply restate what everyone else has stated in the meeting. Look.. there are only so many ways that you can say the sky is blue. Maybe you should spend more time processing information.
And let's not forget...
- "The compulsive liar!" I'm not sure these individuals don't even realize when they're lying and when they're not. They forget what stories they tell. Apparently they think the rest of us are morons. Hey! We work with you at least eight hours a day. After I've heard your stories ten times in fifteen different versions, a pattern begins to emerge.
Office additions:
- "Silent but Deadly" This is the individual that doesn't say much, but they are always lurking in the background. They silently take in all that is going around them. Be careful! They'll use all that information when you least expect it!
- "The Pot Stirrer" This is the individual that constantly likes some type of drama going on in the office. They often instigate issues between two sides and you can definitely depend on them to be behind all the drama.
- "The Drama Queen" This is the individual that has some new drama every day! It's like the sky is falling in their world. It's always something. Oh my gosh... this doesn't work. Can you believe she said that? Ohh.. I have all this stuff to do! I can't believe I'm not allowed to use facebook for eight hours a day at work! You just never know what the drama of the day will be. The only sure thing is... there will be drama.
- "Top That" This person always has a 'one better' example. You ran two miles. I ran five miles last night and I didn't even sweat! You lost five pounds. I've lost twenty five pounds! You finished your report at Noon. My report was turned in by 8 am this morning! Give up. You'll never win against this person; although sometimes it is fun to see how big you can push their stories.
- "I Know It All" This is the individual that knows how to do everything, where everything is located and who to call... even if they don't really. These folks just make up stuff. They'll jump right in with their answer that isn't even half correct. You can tell by the way they say it... they believe and you should too!
- "The Victim" This individual kind of sounds like a character from Winnie the Pooh. Whoa is me... Everyone is against me... They're so mean to me. I can't believe they said that to me. Why would they act like that? News Flash!! Not everyone in the world is against you! Folks don't sit around all day long trying to think what they can do to upset you. In reality, usually these folks are so boring or plain Jane... the only way they rate any type of acknowledgement is by constantly claiming to be the victim.
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